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A thousand American women were asked if they would have an affair with Bill Clinton...

. 83% answered "Never again"

When asked about relations with Rwanda, President Clinton said:
"She's lying. I never laid a hand on her."

Incroyable mais vrai !

         Dans une de mes classes de 3ème
          En faisant l'analyse de certains mots, on découpe: beauti ... ful, help... ful, use...ful etc. Ensuite on tombe sur un mot avec le suffixe .."less" (homeless). A la demande "Can you give other examples ?" Je n'ai récolté que "topless" et "Los Angeles" ...

          Un autre exemple venu d'ailleurs ... Examen de science - un Américain de 14 ans nous dit "Water is composed of two gins - oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin, and hydrogin is gin and water"
          Et en Angleterre, un élève de 14 ans donne la définition suivante:
          VACUUM: A large empty space where the Pope lives.

President Clinton and his family went out one evening to a baseball game. When the home team's catcher heard that the president was sitting in the stands, he went over to Bill and whispered something in his ear. Bill smiled. A few minutes later, the catcher came over and said "It's time, Mr. President." Bill lifted Hillary over his head, spun around a few times, and flung her over the railing onto the field. The catcher, who looked surprised, ran over to the president and said, "You seem to have misunderstood my request. I wanted you to throw out the first PITCH!"

An Irishman introduces himself to the Englishman sitting next to him in the train, "Hi, I am Peter". The Englishman smiles, "Nice to meet you, I am David". They get into a conversation, and David, not realizing that Peter is Irish, makes a comment that Irish people are really stupid. Of course Peter is offended; he says, "I am Irish ! Can you prove that I am stupid ?" David asks, "Do you know the name of my mother's only son?" Peter is confused, "Why the hell would I know your mother's only son?" David is happy, "Peter, you are really stupid, you Irish, the answer is DAVID !"
Peter is really disappointed with himself for not being able to disprove the Englishman's statement about Irish being stupid. He goes home and calls all his Irish friends together. He addresses the crowd, "Friends, I am going to ask you a question. If you guys can answer it, it will prove that Irish are not stupid." He asks the question, "Does anybody know the name of my mother's only son?" Everybody looks at each other. Nobody is able to answer. Peter has to tell the answer himself, "It's DAVID, you morons !"

thanks to Evan Morris (The Word Detective)

           A cop sees a guy driving down the street with three penguins in the back seat of his car. The cop stops him, and the guy explains that he found the penguins just standing by the side of the road. The cop says, "I think you'd better take those penguins to the zoo." The guy agrees and drives off. Next day, the cop sees the same guy drive by with the same three penguins in his back seat, only this time the penguins are wearing sunglasses. The cop stops him again and says,
                                     "Hey, buddy, I told you to take those penguins to the zoo."
           The guy says, "I did. Today we're going to the beach."

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